Before Iggy Azalea was getting Fancy with Charli XCX, Cher Horowitz (Alicia Silverstone) was cruising around LA with Dionne Davenport (Stacey Dash), trying to be more of a do-gooder type by making over her adorably clueless new best friend, Tai Frasier (Brittany Murphy). Of course, finding someone more clueless than she is to worship her was far more of a challenge than Cher had bargained for.
Sure she’s a little distracted by things like the mall and being popular, but so long as she can argue her way to good grades, Cher doesn’t see why her step-brother Josh (Paul Rudd) should be so super critical of her all the time – or why she failed her driving test, and what’s wrong with being a virgin anyway? High school boys are so immature.
So okay, I don’t want to be a traitor to my generation and all but I don’t get how guys dress today. I mean, come on, it looks like they just fell out of bed and put on some baggy pants and take their greasy hair (eww!) and cover it up with a backwards cap and like, we’re expected to swoon? I don’t think so. You see how picky I am about my shoes and they only go on my feet.
It’s a totally quotable movie, and it completely revived Jane Austen for teenagers in the ’90s. Now I don’t want to say anything way harsh, or diss Iggy Azalea – exactly, but when it comes to being adorably clueless, Amy Heckerling’s privileged party girl clad head to toe in designer threads is totally like Ren & Stimpy – they’re way existential.
And when you’re done getting existential we’ll have a bit of a recess – time enough to get yourself some kind of herbal refreshment. And even though we actually do have tea, but we also have coke and stuff. Even though this is not America.
After your break, we move schools to join Cady Heron (Lindsay Lohan) as she befriends unpopular but awesome best buds Janis Ian (Lizzy Caplan) and Damian (Daniel Franzese). Soon after, however, she encounters the school’s Queen Bee Regina George (Rachel McAdams) and is invited to sit with The Plastics – Regina George, Gretchen Weiners (Lacey Chabert) and Karen Smith (Amanda Seyfried). From here it’s all about who can be the biggest – and most clever – bitch of all. Jungle like behaviour and savage competition ensues.
But it’s not a Wednesday, so don’t wear pink. YOU KNOW THE RULES. No really, this is important:
You can’t wear a tank top two days in a row.
And you can only wear your hair in a ponytail once a week.
Oh, and we only wear jeans or track pants on Fridays.
Leave the real world and enter girl world. It is SO FETCH.